this baby is full of the ensaddening virtue

also ps confidential to rbs:

Why Parents Hate Parenting — New York Magazine.

The studies showing that having children doesn’t make you happier – isn’t that like, a study on whether melting your face off makes it harder for you to see things? Or is this only apparent to me bc I already have a child?

Look, the FEELING of non-euphoric short-term happiness is largely about being able to anticipate/control (and euphoric happiness is mostly about drugs/chance) yourself and your environment, imho. Children are something you’re incredibly attached to and also can’t control.  If you’re inclined to worry, they are a worry-amplifier. They have huge impacts on your ability to sleep and exercise, which also influence mood like woah. I experience rather than guess this now that I have a child, but it’s not the science of the rockets or surgery of brains.  More chaos + less sleep = stress, somewhat mitigated by cuteness.  Missy brings me a lot of joy, and is a pretty cool small human but seriously. Is this what you mean by non-use value?

Also in re. total happiness, I mean, how happy ARE kids? Couldn’t they be happy enough to balance out our decrease in happiness? ANYWAY. What’s the question we’re really trying to answer with these studies?  I don’t understand. Are they trying to tell no one to have babies ever? Bc good effing luck.

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